the small child looked up at me
and told me plainly
with a baby's voice
"God is not real".
And my heart broke.
to be a child
to be so innocent and pure
and to lose that so immediately
she is not a free thinker
she is not an academic
she is a 4 year old
a child in a world that teaches her
to take a stand on an issue
to trade one belief for another
while never forming an opinion of her own
"MY God is real"
That was my response
the only one I could register
"Why do you not believe in God?"
and the answer was a sad one.
There has been no self evaluation
no intrinsic appraisal
just a forcefed belief
for not believing in one thing
means you hold something else to be true
by not believing in God
you form a belief
"My mommy told me God is not real".
And I felt sorry for her mommy
but more for the little girl
who has no faith
in a world where you need it
who doesnt have the comfort
that faith can provide
who doesnt have her own opinion
just the opinion of her mother
voiced in her small words
i pray for the child
that does not know how to pray
i weep for the child
that does not know God

i think i want you
because
i know i cant have you
and you know this
you are not naive
its obvious
and you keep making
it impossible
for me to have you
permanently unavailable
even when we are in the same room
together
we are not together
not even close
distance
far greater
than the mere
space between us
thousands of molecules
packed in the crevice of air
keeping you further
and further away
pushing
not pulling
your skin away from mine
and even when the distance
is negligible
between our bodies
the minds
and souls
keep their comfort zones
arms lengths apart
never scratching my surface
never breaking
through the steel encasement
of yours