this evening
I realized
that it is only
the one closest to you
truly the best friend
who can hurt you the deepest
and it breaks your heart
to the very valve
that keeps it beating
and as you sit in total silence
and you feel the blood pumping
and you hear it pumping
and the very coursing rhythm
seems to slow
beat by beat
coming further from the last
no more anger to keep it racing
no more patience to breed consistency
and you feel the blood
congealing
thickening
moving slower
maple syrup
in the veins
areteries
like canisters
on the table at
waffle house
filled with 3am drunks
waitresses with fake mullets
and removable teeth
tatoos on their necks
and you feel the slow
and quiet nature
that wraps you
the warmth and the cold of it
the bright and the dim
the pain and the peace
and in an instant
that feels like hours
or maybe the reverse
the valves stop
their pumping
and you feel it
the crytalization of the
sugar of blood
that flows within you
the heart is filled with it
stretched and tight
engorged with a syrup
and then it happens
you think
one last time
about the last betrayal
and it shatters
the heart within you
breaks
that is the only way
i know of
to describe the feeling
and eventually
with time
the pieces will liquify
and reform a syrup
and then a liquid
until once again
blood courses through your veins
the rhythm will return
eventually
and you will be almost
as good as knew
but evey now and then
you will feel it
a sharp edged crystal
of sugary blood
that slices just into your back or chest
to remind you
that some things
you can forgive
and forget
for a while
but the heart remembers everything
even when the head will
try to block it out.